Of Sickness and Health

Yesterday, I woke up with a really heavy feeling. I felt like it was a fever. So, I recognized it as a fever and went back to sleep.

I woke up again in the middle of the morning because I had the urge to scavenge for food and medicine. I didn’t feel like eating rice so I just had to go to the nearby store and buy bread and medicine. I went out of my room with the laptop in my hand playing the game I didn’t finish playing the night before. I ate my bread and drank my medicine. I went back to sleep to let the medicine seep in and give me a better feeling later in the day.

I was able to get out of bed at around 2 in the afternoon. There’s a volleyball in the evening, a friend says. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go. I wanted to cry because there are emotions stuck in my heart that I want to rid of. Suddenly, I remembered that volleyball is a therapy for me which tells me that I should go play. I felt like I was feeling a whole lot better but I didn’t want to go to the game alone. I called my friend and asked him to play with me. He said yes.

That conversation might have triggered something in me that I felt like the tears run down. This is what I have been waiting for for 6 days already! So, I immediately got my towel and made my way to the bathroom. Yes, despite the fever, I got all rebellious and took a bath. Nothing beats crying during shower. It was a good thing that the water shooting out of the shower was so noisy that I didn’t have to worry about the other people hearing me cry.

That was possible one of the best baths ever. And the best cries ever. After I went out of the shower, I gave a sigh of relief and suddenly felt that life was a little brighter.

I wanted to go out immediately and told my friend who will be playing volleyball to meet me at the nearby Starbucks branch. I did some office work there and drank my big cup of coffee. I miss coffee. I have not been drinking coffee for quite some time. That is awfully unusual.

My friend and I made our way to the court. I requested for my team that I play setter because I do not really want to to strain myself because I will be really have a long work day the next day. I wasn’t exactly happy with how I played setter. So,f or the last game, I requested that I play middle blocker instead. I made great use of the moment. When I was in front, no attack of the opposing team was able to cross the net. That, I did while covering for the two other front liners. They were too short to block so I had to do all the blocking chores.

The funny thing is that we only had one rotation and when I was in the back, there weren’t a lot of activity in the front. I must say that I was the MVP of that game. I feel so revived and liberated and free and excited. I have never felt all those feelings all at once for quite some time now.

I ended the night with an episode of Gilmore Girls. The fever I felt that morning, I was feeling again that same evening. However, there is a difference in the heaviness of the feeling. Now, my mind is clear and my body is just a temporary casket for this fever.


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