The prompt said:
Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?
I just had a recent experience with this. It happened during the last week of November 2012. It was the time when I was questioning my life’s choices and how I am not happy with how life was going.
The thing about me is that I like to submerge myself in pain or loneliness or depression. I try as much as possible to feel them all the moment that I start feeling them. One thing I did was to go to the bathroom and cry in the shower. I was glad that there weren’t any person in the house but me. I opened the shower and just cried. I am such a noisy crier when it comes to these kinds of feelings so I just let it all out in the bathroom and felt the breakdown take over my body.
After that, it was just comfort food all the way through the end of the feelings. It is also my habit to reformat my thoughts and life as soon as I have all my bearings back together.
I am not afraid to feel these things because these are the things that make me feel like I am alive and that I am not just merely existing in this world. Life is not complete without these stuff so when they arrive, I welcome them with open arms.