Word Vomit: Our Current Situation

I don’t even know that there is even an ‘us’ to start worrying myself with.

All I know is that I like you and I feel that you, somehow, like me too. If not, everything you just do will go down the drain into the waste water system of the city we live in.

You have been nice and sweet. You have been too good to be true. If I were to rate my crushes, you would have garnered a lot of points and come out on top. Last Thursday night, my friends asked me to rate my ‘love’ for you. I don’t think that this is love yet but I gave you a 4. Almost there but not quite.

I feel like one of these days, you will just stop talking to me because I bore you. I am not one of those people who are perpetually happy. I do a lot crazy things but they have their own time and space in my continuum. I fear that you will find me too serious and too uptight.

But, in the past seven days we were together for the nights I was in Manila – one was from your invite, one was from mine, the other was from your own willingness to go to a game when you know you’re too tired to play. Shouldn’t I take meaning from that? You called me in my office asking me to hangout? That should merit something right? Then, wanting to hangout for two nights in a row with no specific reason? Then, going home early from training then playing again a few hours later? Tell me if I shouldn’t take hints there.

Or maybe, the hints were all that I want to see. They are pointing at a different direction but I refuse to see that.

That day we went to Davao, a friend and I had a bet about you. He did not want me to text you, just for checking you out. If you text me, I’ll buy him a meal. If you don’t, he will buy me a meal. The moment we landed on the airport and I opened my phone, you called. You asked where were we and you were explaining why you left early the night before. That should mean something. Or so I think.

There are many hints and signs that you’re also into me but I don’t want to read a little too much because I might expect and get hurt. I often ask my friends what to do because, honestly, you’re the one person who I can remotely consider a love life.

Friends say, just go with the flow. I will surely do because my weird sense of intuition tells me that something good will come out of this.

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