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Things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do.

Who wouldn’t remember such lines from a famous Maroon 5 song? And, if you must ask, it’s the story of my life lately. It is really crazy with A and volleyball and school and work. These are the four things that are the center of my life right now.  The roller coaster has begun, some of the loops have been experienced and I am still up for a lot in the future.

Lately, I have been overwhelmed with all that’s happening between A and me. The mini fight we had about me not being a priority turned out to be a good one. He talked about being sorry that I was feeling that way and that I’d be a priority if he wanted to. He talked about thinking more about his decisions and that he’d make up for what just happened. It was true. Instead of me almost always suggesting things we do, he, instead, took the lead on our activities. He invited me to watch him play in a league. He dropped by the house every now and then. He’s making life a little more easier toe bear because with him I know that I would always have a shoulder to lean on to.

We’re still on the phase of getting to know each other. But, I really want us to achieve that relationship status. Maybe, not just right now because he’s trying to figure out the kinks of a same-sex relationship. I, too, am trying to figure it out since I have never been in one. So, it’s a learning process for both of us. And, I have been learning a lot these past few weeks.

School took a toll on me these past two weeks because it’s my final exam and the submission of both our problem set and project. I am a bit flustered with all the school work that I needed to do. I have almost forgot how it is to study. I was so stressed the last two weeks and that I was a bit depressed with my exam because I wasn’t at all happy with what I’ve done. I just hope that I did enough good to merit an acceptable grade and I really promise to do better in the next classes.

 

Tempting Saturday

I woke up without much difference from what I was feeling the night before. Then, I realized that it was just a Saturday and I have a whole day to do the stuff that I want to do. However, I dismissed the “I want to do” part because I remembered that I have a problem set t submit on Tuesday. I got out of bed, grabbed my laptop, created a space for myself in the living and started with my problem set.

It was already 1030 AM then. I realized that I have to go to the doctor to get the results of my 2D Echo procedure. This visit is already long overdue as the procedure happened at the tail end of February and I was supposed to go back there at the start of March. I was wondering if the doctor would give a sermon about not going back as early as I could. So, at around 11:30 AM, I made my way to EDSA Shangri-La for my doctor’s appointment.

Given that the doctor’s consultation hours was from 1 PM – 3 PM, I was confident enough that I’d be home early to finish my problem set. I was at the clinic, 12:50 PM and I was a bit surprised to see that I am already the 7th in line for the doctor’s consultation. I kept waiting until I could not keep my silence at around 2:30 PM. I approached the nurse’s station and asked whether the doctor will be available today. They said that he was already on their way. I accepted their answer despite the fact that I’m so mad that he isn’t in the area when his consultation hours started. I waited until 3:15 PM. That time, I could not contain my anger. I approached the nurse station again and asked if the doctor is coming. They said that he is and the he had to do an operation at the Philippine Heart Center and that was the reason he was late. I asked them if I could leave the clinic for a while and that they text me if the doctor comes.

CRAP.

I went to the Globe Business Center in SM MegaMall. Every day for the past week, I was thinking of availing the Blackberry Z10 plan. I inquired about it using their hotline and I realized that it wouldn’t take much for me to upgrade my current plan. I was thinking about it when the clinic sent me a message that the doctor is already in the office. I made my way back to the clinic. The consultation was so short that the travel from MegaMall to Shangri-la was considerable longer. The good news, though, is that my heart is normal and that I can go back to my normal ways with the instruction that I monitor my intake of caffeine-rich food. All is well.

I want back to Globe and continued inquiring about plan re-contracting so that I could avail of the Blackberry Z10 phone. I learned of my pretermination fees and the other stuff that I have to do in order to avail of the plan. I am so excited. This is the part where I should be saying no to myself but this will be the last time for this year. Seriously. The first was the Kalibo trip then the Vietnam trip and now this. I promise that this will be the last time so I can check the “Learn to say no to yourself” task on my 25 Things To Do Before I Turn 25.

The thing I have to do now is to wait until my credit limit is increased. After that happens, I have to call the hotline and tell them that I will be availing of the Blackberry Z10 and ask when I could pick it up. I am really hopeful that I could pick it up this week so that I can give my Blackberry 9780 to my sister. That would be an awesome birthday gift for her!

Ass I was walking towards the shuttle terminal, I received a text from one of my high school friends and he says that he was bored and asks me if I was doing anything. I said that I am on my way home from Ortigas and that I am not so busy. That was a lie because I have to get a move on my problem set. But, I obliged that I would be willing to hang out as he did for me last night. I also contacted one of our friends around the area and asked if he was available. He said that he’d follow to our meet up place.

It was a nice evening and very different from our usual Saturday nights. Because then, we’d be having volleyball games and be so tired that we’d wake up noon on a Sunday. Tonight, it was just a chill night talking about stuff and some problem we encountered throughout the week. I just hope that things will pick up tomorrow. There are certain people I miss and I really want to see them so badly.

Ugh Friday

I did not go to work today because I am not confident enough that I can answer my exam given the amount of studying I did. I am still a but flustered by the mishap that is being under the weather last Tuesday and Wednesday. How could I have focused then? In a way, I screwed myself.

I tried salvaging the remaining time I have. I woke up at 8 AM and started studying. The sad part was that no matter how hard I tried, no amount of information was being retained in my brain. I don’t know why. I do think that I still have enough space left but like a broken flash drive, nothing can be written on it.

By lunch time, I made my way to Katipunan because I will be meeting Erwin and Clinton for lunch. I just wanted to get out of the house, be with people I want and try to forget about the chaos that is this exam. We had a good time having lunch at Kenny Roger’s Roasters in Katipunan. And, after lunch, we decided to stay until the time I need to leave for UP. I went back to ‘studying’ then; however, I lost all the will, motivation and mood to study so I resorted to just listening to music, occasionally browsing through my notes and staring blankly at a far away cloud.

I felt that some kind of mishap is about to happen so I suggested that we watch a movie after I take the exam. I feel like I would be needing a pick-me-up to avoid being depressed because of the exam.

So, how did I do?

It was the longest 2-item exam of my life. I was dumbfounded with some of the questions but I do think that I was able to generate the regression models. There were just items that I didn’t know what to do so I resorted to reading the Help of the statistical software we were using. I tried to make logic from what I know and from what I can see in my formula sheet. I tried to stay calm but I just couldn’t. I felt like I was going to break down at any given moment. I may be exaggerating thing but studying is one of the things I know that I am good at but given this exam, that record may have been awfully tainted.

When I went out of the room, I received a message that the movie won’t push through. Great. The thing I am looking forward to cheering me up suddenly becomes unavailable.  So, I asked for friends who will be available to hang out at that time. And then I get a confirmation from one of my high school friends. We just stayed at a local McDonald’s branch until past midnight.

I don’t know but I feel really depressed right now and I don’t know why. I might as well sleep this off.

Study Thursday

Last night, I could not handle myself and slept earlier than I should probably have. It was a good thing that I woke up in the wee hour of the morning. It was just in time that he came home from the volleyball game. It’s nice that he remembered to bid me good night and good luck with my studying.

Sweet.

I studied again when I woke up but I couldn’t bear the sleepiness and went back to sleep at 4:30 AM and woke up again 2 hours after. I had a slow pace in preparing for work because it’s like I didn’t want to to go to work today. I am still not prepared for my exam tomorrow and I won’t have enough time to study. But, heck, I did go to work and I was almost late. The traffic at C5 was horrendous and I do not have any idea as to what caused it.

At the office, I focused more on studying rather than working. I did have my occasional tasks and worked on some of my projects.

Formula sheet

Daily Prompt: The Transporter

The prompt said:

Tell us about a sensation — a taste, a smell, a piece of music — that transports you back to childhood.

Actually, one of the best childhood memories for me is our family trip to the beach. That’s why I love the beach so much.

The sun was up and the water was so cold. I have my sisters and cousins around me and we’re all having a good time. It was the time of eating lunch by the beach under the shade of the coconut trees. We used banana leaves as plates and we were eating without the use of utensils.

We were all so young then and so carefree.

Daily Prompt: Escape!

The prompt said:

Describe your ultimate escape plan (and tell us what you’re escaping from).

There is a lot of chaos and piss (from that Pink song) in this world that I want to escape from. I want to escape from my normal life and go somewhere where nobody knows who I am and I can be whoever I want to be.

So, for the escape plan. I will go to Cubao where all the buses to the provinces are. I’d pick a random bus or it can be totally specific as long as the bus will lead me to the beach. There I would just enjoy the sea, sand and the nearby towns. I will also make sure that I am immersed in the local culture and try to fit in myself. I will also try to mingle with the locals and make new friends from the area.

When I feel like I’ve lost myself enough, I’d make sure that I stay a few days more and go back to my life here in Manila.

Resurgent Wednesday

I have always loved going back to work after a rest day. Since I didn’t go to work yesterday, I was a bit excited even if I am still under the weather. I was a bit slow in preparing for work. I was still able to eat breakfast at home. I realized that the students are already on vacation and traffic won’t be horrible today. So, I took my time.

When I arrived at work, I had a short time of just staring at the computer. It was like I am adjusting to the office environment. I was thinking that maybe it was not a good decision to go back to work. But, had I stayed at home, my boss would have required me to submit a medical certificate. Sucks, right?

So, I decided to meet with one of the product managers regarding the new product that is assigned to me. Yey? Could be? At least, we get to meet. This meeting is long overdue. I still have to experience working with a product. I am a bit excited for this project and this experience.

The rest of the day, I was just studying for my exam this Friday. I’m a great employee this week. No?

At 2 PM, I still have another meeting. I thought that I’d have a lot of participation for this but it turns out, I only have around 20 minutes. And the meeting lasted for more than 3 hours! I should have excused myself and studied more. Still, it sucks. Although, I feel a whole lot better than I did yesterday.

Why?

WaWhat I have to do tomorrow? Study for my exam and learn to trust people. I am such a paranoid.

Daily Prompt: Prized Possession

The prompt said:

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a child. What became of it?

When I was young, I really had this long hotdog pillow and we were inseparable. I even have a name for it. I would always bring it anywhere and then I couldn’t sleep if it was not by my side.

It completely left my side when I turned high school. I thought that maybe it was for the best but it required me to sleep with at least 4 pillows on me.

The Cost of a Million Dollars: Achilles’s Tendon

Motu Tapu is the starting line for this leg of the race.

The opening of the episode focused on Dave and Conner and their sudden struggle with Dave’s Achilles’s tendon. This could be a very important turnaround in the race because it was mentioned. What could be the repercussions of this injury? The medical staff advised that Dave get a sonograph to check the severity of this injury and he was given crutches. How could you race with crutches? But, good spirits brought him to the phrase of “it ain’t over until it’s over”.

To start off, the teams are instructed to go to Phil’s homeland of Christchurch, New Zealand and drive themselves to the Rakaia River Gorge. Wow, this race is bringing the teams to really great landscapes and places. It’s also great timing and coincidence for John and Jessica to give the Express Pass to Dave and Conner because (1) they probably won’t last long and the other Express Pass would be just wasted and (2) it will just look like they’re really good people to give someone with the injury a chance to skip a task.

Dave had his Achilles’s tendon checked and learned that it’s damaged. Then they bought a boot to keep it stable. I was just wondering who financed that boot? Was it from the money they get from the start of the race or is it the race producers themselves? And can people stop playing the cancer card? It’s just so irritating already.

The only thing that sucks with going to exotic places is that teams catch up with each other at the airport because of the unavailability of flights. It gives a lot of the teams to be on a level playing field again. But, on the other side of the fence, it’s great TV because teams at the head of the pack are suddenly pressured to do well again because their time advantage suddenly diminished.

At the Rakaia River Gorge, they are given numbers for boats that will bring them upriver. But, they have to spend the night on the riverside because they weren’t able to make it to the tour hours. The clue for the Detour requires them to choose between Rev it Up and Reel it In. In Rev it Up, the teams are required to race in a modified vintage car in a specified amount of time. In Reel it In, the teams are required to fish and have their catch measure at least 12 inches long. On the way to the Detour venues, they are to ride an ATV. The landscape was just so awesome.

Dave and Connor initially arrived at the Rev it Up Detour but they realized that Dave cannot drive with his injured tendon. How could they not have thought of that before? The easier choice of Detour would be Rev it Up because it won’t consume most of your time if you’re an able driver. However, Dave and Conner used the Express Pass when they switched Detours. So, they go forward one step. Wynona and Chuck are expected to do the fishing task. The cool thing was after catching the fish, they returned it to the river. After the Detour, teams are tasked to drive to Mount Hutt Station.

At Mount Hutt Station they are given a Roadblock clue to participate in a Shemozzle Race. It’s kind of a dirty and muddy obstacle course with the goal of delivering 12 eggs! It sounds fun! It would have been harder if the participant was to shepherd the dog around the course too instead of just holding the eggs.

It was a great decision for Dave and Connor to use the Express Pass. However, who knows how long they could keep this up? Connor can’t do all the tasks alone and there will definitely be physical tasks that requires two people to do it successfully. However, they receive bad news as they arrive at the pit stop of this leg as this is a “to be continued” leg. Here, they are posed with a dilemma if they will continue on or just resign from the race.

Terrence Downs, New Zealand is the pseudo-pit stop for this continuous leg of the race.

I loved how this is a “to be continued” leg. After all of the hassle of going from Bora Bora to New Zealand, teams are given the opportunity to catch up with other teams. It makes the race a little more exciting. Also, I entitled this as the Achilles’s tendon because who knows what effect this could have to future legs. Dave could very well give in to the pain and hassle of racing with crutches.

Sick Day

I didn’t go to work today.

It’s so hard to be in the middle of being sick and being healthy. If I am going to have sickness, I should be sick. It’s tiring to be in the middle of things.

Anyway, I don’t really have time to rest because I need to study for my exam on Friday. So, sick day is not really equating to rest day. Can someone please take care of me?

It’s almost the end of the semester and I really have a lot of requirements to fulfill. I have this exam on Friday. Then next Tuesday, I have a problem set to submit and then on next Friday, the project drafts will be due. I really have to get a move on with these requirements. I don’t really have time to slack off.

In the end, I may have pushed myself too far today and not accomplish anything because I am just so tired from trying to do anything.